I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
