So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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