Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
