i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
try to milk me bitch
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