How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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