i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
