its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize