i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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