I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
