I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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