You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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