Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
