I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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