What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
