Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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