Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize