Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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