they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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