remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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