you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
