do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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