Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My feet surprised me
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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