I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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