I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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