the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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