This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
