i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
