"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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