I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
