Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
