Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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