this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
