Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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