fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
