have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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