Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
