thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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