yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
