is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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