we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
