OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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