this boner is exhausting
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
