A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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