how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
