She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
