Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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