you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
