Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
