there's paper in my vomit.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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