you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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