Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
