I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
