I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
