did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
