At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
