Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I smell stomach acid.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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