Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Your cock deserves a montage
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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