I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
