He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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