I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
