a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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