Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
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