I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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